The daily will power struggle.

Will Power

Where do I start?

An ongoing daily battle. This may sound overdramatic to some, but for me it’s true. A battle doesn’t have to be all violence and war, an internal battle is just as damaging.

An internal battle in my opinion involves a daily tug of war, an ongoing debate inside. To explain my opinion further here is an example:

In relation to quitting smoking. The daily battle and tug of war in this circumstance is:

Wanting to smoke vs not wanting to smoke.

The wanting to smoke is the addiction yes but it is also the need to smoke. The need to pick up that cigarette, light it and enjoy. The routine of having done this for however long is then contrasted by not wanting to smoke. The lifestyle change in front of you that you know will improve you for whatever reason. Yet by not smoking you are going against something you’ve always done.

Now to someone who doesn’t smoke I appreciate this may sound a little far fetched. But if you relate it to something else you may see similar patterns.

For a porker like myself the daily struggle is food.

Everyone needs food to survive. How much you need is based on a lot of components, height, gender, metabolism etc.

As a larger person who has always eaten that little bit too much (aka way too much) I know that I am damaging my body, the internal damage is done and will take years to undo if at all. But I can stop the other damage from occurring.

Being on a diet vs wanting to eat everything in sight.

Again apologies to the ones who think this is over the top 😛

Now I know I need to diet, I know I need to lose weight and I also know it’s not going to happen over night.
So in honesty denying yourself a lot of what you are used to consuming is hard work. (No pizza for 2+ years OMG thank goodness for the occasional treat day) It is all around you, going for a meal and seeing and smelling what you want to eat vs what you should eat.

Being offered a sweet or a biscuit, and turning it down vs grabbing the whole packet off the person offering without a hint of guilt or shame and gobbling it down in sweet sweet heaven.

Being hungover and craving grease yet really needing a salad.

Sorry I’ll get to the point now, began to get sidetracked whilst thinking of what I’m not allowed!

My point is that this is hard damn work.

Every day I am faced with choices regarding food, yes it may seem simple, just eat the right things and get on with it and some days it is that simple. Some days I thrive on healthy eating and being more energetic etc and then other days when I’m feeling low, tired or just a bit sorry for myself, if offered an orange or a Terry’s chocolate orange, well let’s just say I know what I would choose.

I am not perfect.
And neither is anyone else.

We all make bad decisions.
The trick is in the aftermath of one of these decisions, pick yourself up, brush yourself down, accept it happened, learn from it and move on.

We’ve got this.

We can do this.

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Original source unknown.

Why I am ditching the scales for 1 month.

Having pretty much been on a diet my entire life, I have some experience and I have some knowledge in what works and what doesn’t for me.

Tipping the scales at the larger end I have always had big losses in the first few weeks which then slowed down into a more consistent weekly loss.

My downfall – not seeing progress.

It is so frustrating to work so hard and be so good to then be greeted with a zero weight loss.

So this is why I’m ditching the scales for a month.

I have done exactly what I feared, I have become one of those people that checks the scales practically everyday, often more than once a day.

It isn’t helping.

In fact it is making me downhearted, unfocussed, sad and bloody annoyed a lot of the time.

To see it go up and down depending on the time of day and my toilet action is becoming my downfall, forget the will power being the downfall it’s the bloody scales!!!

Also I know weight fluctuates so I know full well when looking at the scales that it wouldn’t necessarily be an accurate reading, however it says it in black and white so for that day I believe it, until I step on the scales again.

Originally I said I was purely going to go on clothes: how they feel, fit and of course they’re size so for the next month I am going to do that.

I am going to work my socks off and do everything I can to push this progress and keep working hard.

I am determined and proud to be on this journey, but it won’t be easy and there will be days where I wake up and want to give up.

But I’m not going to.

I can do this.

And if I can do this then so can you 🙂

Linda Kelsey (Daily Mail) vs Me and the unashamed ‘fatties’

Being fat doesn’t make you a horrible person, being horrible makes you a horrible person.

The same way a good person isn’t a good person because of the way they look. They are a good person because of what’s inside.

So how can you judge a fat person just because they are fat? Deciding you don’t like someone because they are fat is unacceptable and malicious, it’s not being a ‘fattist’ it’s being cruel.

I refer you now to in my opinion one of the worst newspapers in Britain and I don’t say that lightly as a trainee journalist.

The Daily Mail – and the story I referred to a few days ago entitled: Why are today’s young women so unashamed about being fat? Horrified by the rolls of flesh she’s witnessed on show this summer, LINDA KELSEY takes no prisoners
(link at bottom of post)

“Standing in the queue for airport security at Luton last week, en route to Malaga and my fortnight in the sun, I became transfixed by the three young women in front of me.

All in their early 20s, they were laughing and chatting, clearly looking forward to their hols on the Costa del Sol, excitedly planning their days on the beach and nights on the town.

They sounded – and looked – happy and carefree. But what mesmerised me most about this jolly trio was not their conversation, but their appearance: they were size 18 apiece, at least.

They were not chubby, but fat. They had bulging bellies and billowing pillows of back and shoulder stuffing, punctured by flabby arms and lardy legs that no amount of fake-tan could disguise.

And what struck me even more forcefully about these lumpen individuals (there were dozens more, equally large, in the queue behind me) was how obviously unconcerned they were about it.”

How dare these girls get excited for their holiday? They have no right to be excited whilst being so fat. Is this the message Linda is trying to give out? That girls if you are fat you are to be miserable, sink into depression and starve yourself thin, then it will be ok again.

“Another girl wore white stretch leggings with a pattern of cellulite dimples showing through, accessorised with a super-sized sausage of overhanging belly.”

Is it just overweight people that get cellulite? If so someone best inform the likes of Kate Moss, Rihanna and Mischa Barton that they are tipping into the obese stage.

So what, this girl had a little skin on show, did she have to look? Did she have to stare so intently, then release a national story on it? No she didn’t, she did that because she could and because she is an arse.

I was always taught if you have nothing nice to say then don’t say anything at all. This woman clearly was not taught the same courtesy.

People should be able to wear whatever they wish. The same stigma is not placed on men, who as soon as the slightest ray of sunshine is out get their tops off and this is accepted as a “man thing.”

“To top it all, these three were – I kid you not – sharing a bag of crisps.”

NEWSFLASH FAT PEOPLE EAT TOO and least they were sharing a bag 😉 

These girls were waiting in line to start their holidays, why can’t they eat? Are fat people now expected to sit inside eating, hiding away from people that may judge or make comments. What gives her the right to be so critical with people, to comment on what they consume, it is comments like these that often drive people to the ice cream and pizza.

She uses the term: “fatties” throughout her article,  I am not sure when this was deemed acceptable, or when The Daily Mail deemed it acceptable to post things like this. With the amount of emphasis placed on anti-bullying schemes year round, here you are BULLYING for the entire world to see. Fatties is not an acceptable term. It is rude, offensive and bloody well mean.

What gives this woman the right to be so rude and malicious? This entire article is written from her “unapologetically fattist” viewpoint, it is unfair and unjust and I am confounded how this person even has friends let alone a job where they actually pay her to write.

What I wonder is, would she offer this same no feelings spared approach to anorexia sufferers or alcoholics?

“I don’t deny that anorexia, bulimia and other eating disorders are a pernicious problem, and I’ve witnessed at close hand the devastating effects of anorexia as young daughters of friends and acquaintances have succumbed to it.

But in the cases I’ve come across, the psychological issues these girls were suffering from had far more to do with their driven personalities, their determination to be A*  students at any cost, as well as troubles with over-demanding parents, than simply emulating glossy magazine images of super-skinny models and stick-thin celebrities on the red carpet.

Skinny celebrity icons are an issue, but I don’t believe they’re the issue on which society should focus in our muddle over body image.

Far more attention and, dare I say it, opprobrium needs to be directed at young fatties who eat unhealthy diets and sit around watching TV and texting rather than going to the gym or even for a walk.”

I don’t begin to understand the medical side of anorexia but what I will say is that each person who suffers has a different story, a different reason behind their illness so you simply cannot generalise. The same way every fat person has a story.

Now I am not arguing with the fact that obesity is on the rise, and the younger generation seem to be getting larger. This is something that needs tackling, but all her article (I begrudge calling it that) does is increase the negativity and stigma surrounding obesity. With documents like this so freely available they are pushing people away. People who know they are getting a little chubby and want to do something about it may not now, through fear of getting the same reaction from anyone they approach. Did she consider this whilst typing out her malicious words?

We need to offer help and encouragement in order to give people the education they need to help themselves.  We need to help families educate themselves and their children so we minimise the amount of obese children.

It isn’t healthy we know this. But simply calling people fatties and discussing how disgusting it is isn’t helping.

She ends her article with:  “One way to start might be by calling a fat girl a fat girl. No apology required.”

Linda I follow in your foot steps, perhaps honesty is the best policy, so Linda you are a bitch. No apology required.

My top diet tricks.

This post is all about my personal top diet hacks, it’s all about making your diet as enjoyable and as easy as possible.

1. Mark your bottle with your water intake. Drinking around 2 litres of water a day is a standard life and diet tool, but 2 litres is daunting for people that don’t usually drink so much. By marking your water bottle into slots (I do hourly) it breaks down the 2 litres into manageable sips/gulps/guzzles and before you know it you’ve hit your water target 🙂



2. Prepare as much as  you can in advance. Regardless if you have a 9-5 job, an office job or if you work from home etc. preparing in advance does help!!! It also means you have no excuse: “Oh I didn’t have time this morning so i’ll just grab something on the go” ummmm no! Grabbing on the go is never as healthy and is never as good for you, also what is the point of filling up your fridge with yummy goodies if you don’t eat them!!




3. FROZEN GRAPES!!! Sweet treats without the guilt. (Also work wonders as ice cubes in wine!)



4. Exercise. A lot of people don’t necessarily have the extra hour or so free in the day to head to the gym so try these simple things to increase you exercise levels without even thinking about it…

* Run up and down the stairs instead of walking.

* Squats – you can do these in front of the TV at the end of the day.

* Have more sex.

* Housework – it all adds up – so keep your house extra clean also it distracts from the fact that you are soooooooo hungry!

and anything else like this 🙂

* If you have children and a wii get playing!!!

* YouTube quick work outs you can do in front of your computer.


5. Go veggie for the day 🙂 One day a week skip the meat in your meals. You’ll save a lot of fat, calories and fill up more with veg and increase your nutrients and fibre.


6.  Ditch white carbs and switch for wholegrain carbs.


7.  Switch it up, DON’T EAT THE SAME THING EVERY DAY. Lots of people do this on diets, they find something the like and they eat it everyday, you’ll get bored of this pretty soon and stray away.


8. Don’t beat yourself up if you slip up, you are only human. Allow yourself a treat every now and again, if you eliminate something completely you’ll only want it more.  So every once and while have something naughty.


9. Talk to people, motivation and support – they may have the same issues as you, recipes to teach you and sometimes you just need someone to talk to and help steer you away from the packet of chocolate digestives latched in your chubby little hand.


10. Be positive. Something so simple yet so many people don’t do it! If you start the day with a negative attitude then you have hindered yourself from the get go. You can do this ❤



The Telegraph vs Obesity


First read the above story, it is about increasing the number of gastric bands available on the NHS.

This story raised a lot of controversy, what is your opinion?

My opinion is that whilst it is beneficial for people and helps them lose weight I think it should be used for people that have exhausted every other avenue.


People think it is a quick fix it isn’t, people with this treatment still have just as much struggle as every other person losing weight. The difference being they can’t physically stomach large portions, that doesn’t mean to say they don’t want bigger portions.

My only hope if this increase of available treatments goes ahead is that they provide the support people need, they teach and re-educate about food and portions and try to uncover where the issue began. Otherwise once treatment is complete the weight may just pile back on.


Also how about instead of waiting around for people to big enough to use this service, use the money instead to offer reduced gym fees, free weight watchers and slimming world clubs to help people help themselves and educate themselves for the future.


Also how about we use the money to offer surgery to those people who have lost substantial weight yet are left with stones worth of extra skin.


I know a few people who have had gastric bands and it has worked wonders for them so I would never wish to insult this avenue as it does work. I just think it should be kept for those who really need it not every Tom, Dick and Harry.

So come on then what do you think? By all means disagree with me if you want 

Obesity vs Hunger

What is worse?

Being obese


waking up every morning without fail, with hunger pains and a growling stomach.

Obviously the first one, but the second isn’t good either.

Since starting my diet, I have found it all relatively easy, I space what I consume throughout the day into roughly 3hourly slots.

I wake up and have my morning shake at around 9/10am – if I am really hungry I will have fruit with my morning shake.

Then lunch time shake at 12/1pm

Then afternoon snack around 3pm

Then healthy dinner around 6pm.

I also fit in fruit if in need 🙂

So you see it all fits in nicely, I don’t feel hungry and I’m enjoying this journey.

However come 8am when I am rudely awoken by the gurgling’s of my now shrinking stomach. I wander when it will stop and get very irritated at the idea of any diet as my sleep is far more important.

Of course I suck it up and get my rather large arse downstairs to the kitchen to make my morning shake.

But I wondered what do other people do?

I know I am not alone on a journey like this and I don’t for a moment pretend to be, so tell me all you lovely healthy eaters, dieters and general well wishers out there.

What do you do to beat the morning hunger, or do you simply do as I do and get over it?


Oh and yes before anyone asks I am drinking enough water 😉