Girl In the Back Row

Beautiful 💜

alwaysthinkingimfat

I’m the girl in the back row

Hoping that you don’t notice me

Sweat is pouring off my face

With crimson red cheeks

Gasping for air

Overweight and older

Makeup strewn all over my face

Desperately keeping up with the pace

Not a pretty sight

Please don’t discount me

Because I’m still smiling

Giving it what I have

From my heart

One a quitter

Now a fighter

Terrified people are laughing at me

But I refuse to feel I don’t belong

I’m here to stay

Help me to my goals

Give me your support

I may not keep up

But with help and guidance

I can take it to the next level

So when I’m in the back row

Flash me a smile

Give me a wink

Let me know you understand

I just want to exist

In this new world

To feel stronger

Every day

To define my life

On my own…

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Awkward Moment #4

So at the end of Year 1 at university, I had to sit a Teeline exam. To anyone who isn’t familiar it’s the journalists second language – it also resembles hieroglyphics to anyone not familiar (and some of us who are familiar.)

We were all due to sit this exam in one of the lecture theatres that has the individual chairs with built in mini desks.

One problem – no way was my boobs and stomach going to squeeze behind one of those desks without either some serious damage to me or the chair!

So instead I proclaimed to the lecturer “can I have a desk at the front? Because realistically my boobs and belly are not going to squeeze into one of these”

Rather amused he gave me permission. Thankfully a few others followed suit.

Was I embarrassed no? I wasn’t going to fit no point denying it! I would have been embarrassed had I tried and failed to squeeze myself in!

The bonus I got a big desk all to my self so I could spread out as much as I wanted and I got a chair big enough for my bum haha.

Exam success.

The Awkward Moment #3

This one I have always laughed at so feel free to giggle without a single ounce of guilt.

When I was in my late teens I was at one of the local clubs in town.

To say I had drunk a little too much was a massive understatement.

I was true to the stereotypes of people my age and I was totally and utterly sozzled.

Anyway, in this club there was a cash machine. The cash machine was against the wall next to a door. The door was in the corner.

Sorry my descriptions are rubbish but basically the layout meant that there was a corner wall then the door, then the cash machine.

And in my inebriated state I managed to wedge my big bottom in this gap between the corner wall and the cash machine.

Could I get up no?!

All I could do was laugh!

Until finally a friend walked past and pulled me out of said gap.

And back to the bar I went haha.

💜

The weekend is upon us, to cheat or not to cheat.

So the weekend is here and the big question is can I squeeze a cheat in? Balanced with not feeling guilty and of course not letting it turn from a treat to a daily thing.

So to anyone wondering if they should treat themselves have a long think.

Some people simply cannot allow themselves to do it because they know full well that one slice of a stuffed crust Dominos pizza and they’ll be ordering a large one, extra toppings, dough balls and Ben and Jerry’s for desert.

Whereas others know that they need to have the occasional treat in order to keep them on track. After all if we are amending our diets and cutting things out we may start to miss them. So rather than deny completely allow a treat in moderation.

Whatever you choose to do this week, just think of the hard work you’ve already done. If you want a pasty this weekend have a bloody pasty provided you know that come tomorrow you’ll wake up and be back on the healthy journey once again.

Ladies and gentleman we have got this. ❤

cheat week

*Google stock image – original source unknown.