10 things to remember when you love someone with depression.

This post and the following tips are based on my personal experiences and others who have spoken to me about their depression. If you have any additional tips you feel are beneficial to your depression please add them in the comments. If you feel like you are suffering from depression please speak to someone, it is a lot less scary when you aren’t on your own. 

10 things to remember when you love someone with depression.

 1. Depression is not a choice.

No one chooses to be depressed. There are times where depression can leave someone unable to function, paralyzed by their own mind and body. This is not a choice. It is feeling lost, sad, empty, angry, frustrated, feeling everything at once or sometimes feeling nothing at all.

It is one of the most helpless, frustrating and often isolating experiences a person can go through.It is not something that can be snapped out of, believe me I’ve tried. It isn’t a bad mood, a bad day or a bad week. You are suffocating under darkness.

2. It is not about you.

If you love someone who is dealing with depression it is easy to blame yourself. To pick fault at your relationship and assume their depression is a reflection of you.

People with depression cannot always understand themselves so they recognise it will be difficult for you also. If they begin to push you away or ask for space let them have it. But don’t spend your time scrutinising everything you’ve been doing and picking fault at yourself, try to understand their depression is not about you.

3. Sometimes they don’t want to do this alone.

Even though I just said let them have their space that does not mean to say someone wishes to be left to be consumed by their depression, communicate. Company is greatly received just understand that may not mean a night out on the town and it may mean a cup of tea in bed watching a film.

Feel confident in making suggestions, suggesting to go for a drive or a walk, get some fresh air or grab a coffee. Allowing them to step out of the bubble they have created by simply offering your time, shows you care. Reaching out to them may just mean everything to them and it also reminds them that they don’t have to face this alone.

4. You’re allowed to get frustrated.

People with depression aren’t immune to your feelings and they can tell when you’re pissed off and frustrated. This is ok, they understand they can be difficult to be around. They don’t expect you to know what to say when they’re struggling, just like sometimes they can’t explain how they’re feeling or why they may be crying.

Just because they are dealing with depression does not mean you have to walk around on eggshells all the time. If it is having a negative impact on you then it needs action. Look at how you can help them and show your love and support without sacrificing your happiness and feelings.

5. Talk to them about your frustration.

Depressed people can tell when it is affecting other people and that just starts a vicious circle of guilt over causing you pain and suffering so don’t be afraid to talk to them.

In those moments of frustration people with depression can feel even more isolated, they can see the frustration in your eyes and they blame themselves for causing you pain. So it is important to talk and communicate. Be patient, keep calm and vocalise your concerns. It is natural you want to help them any way you can but you need to take care of yourself too.

6. It is okay to ask about their depression.

It is ok to ask direct questions. How are they feeling? Are they practicing self-care?  How are they practising self-care? Are they eating properly? BUT… don’t demand these answers and cause tension if they simply aren’t ready to talk.

It is a common occurrence for people suffering with their depression to feel suicidal. So have a back-up plan, let them know if they feel that bad they can reach out to you. Have a plan in place just in case it’s needed.  Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed about, you talking about it, reassures them that they aren’t a lost cause or ‘crazy’.

7. Yes they may shut you out before they bring you in.

People suffering with depression constantly feel like they are making other people unhappy. They think they are causing pain to people close to them, by being difficult and a nuisance. Feeling like a burden they react defensively by shutting people out. Often it is the people they need the most

They can habitually feel like their loved ones deserve better. That by allowing these people into their world of sadness they are weighing their loved ones down. If this begins to happen, reassure them. Tell them how much you love and support them and let them know you are there for them when they are ready. But don’t force them, the tough love approach can sometimes push them further away from you.

8. They can become easily overwhelmed and yes this may involve tears!

For someone suffering with depression just getting through the day can be exhausting not to mention overwhelming. Little tasks such as getting out of bed, showering and even eating can seem daunting so be patient and understanding.

Because all these tasks consume so much energy and effort they may feel more tired than usual, even if they appear to be getting lots of sleep. So don’t get discouraged or feel like you’ve upset them if they cancel plans late notice or decline an invitation to meet.

Little things can often take over. Speaking from personal experience, I once cried for ten minutes because my tea bag split whilst making a cup of tea, luckily my boyfriend realised my insistent wailing “I can’t even make a cup of tea right” was because I was overwhelmed, after spending all day in bed, the last two hours had been spent with me gradually feeling able to get out of bed and have a shower, so when the first task of the day (at 6pm) making a cup of tea went wrong, I regressed momentarily, again patience is key. A day or so later I even laughed when I recounted how much I cried over a cup of tea!

You may be used to planning weeks or even months ahead but they may be struggling to plan day to day or even hour to hour. So consider this when discussing future plans, they could feel a little intimidated planning too in advance.

All these things are a common side effect of living with a mental illness.

9. Tough love.

I hate to break it to you but tough love does nothing.

Telling someone that you’re going to break up with them, that they won’t have anyone left or that you’re not going to talk to them anymore won’t miraculously cure them, it won’t be the catalyst you’ve been waiting for to speed up their progress.

It is understandable that this can put pressure on relationships but delivering ultimatums is unrealistic and on some level manipulative.

If the pressure of dealing with some of their issues does become too much that is a personal choice you must make but not one to be presented as blackmail. Remember depression is not a choice.

10. Choose your words wisely.

Often people will try to offer their own words of wisdom, whilst this may come from a good place, it is not always helpful to someone suffering with depression.

Statements such as, “you’ll be fine”, “you’re just having a bad day”, “you’ll get over it” etc. is more often than not discouraging, it can make them feel inadequate, that they are not being taken seriously.

“Maybe get some fresh air, it’s what I do when I’m feeling sad” again whilst coming from a good place phrases like this can come across as both patronising and a little insulting.

They can all also make someone feel like you are not acknowledging the struggle they are going through, reassure them of your support. Instead offering phrases such as; “I’m here for you”, “can I help?” and a hug often goes a long way to reassure someone that they are not alone.

And lastly feel free to express empathy but don’t suppress their feelings. The greatest resource you can offer your friend in their darkest moments and throughout their journey is your ability to listen.

New law means models in France must be deemed fit to work

 

France has made a stand against the fashion industry and anorexia by banning models who are too thin and fining the agencies who are hiring them.

According to health ministry figures, in France as many as 40,000 people suffer from anorexia and 90 per cent of people suffering are female. The new legislation passed will mean all working models will have to carry a medical certificate from their doctor stating that they are “compatible with the practise of the profession”.

An initial draft of this legislation had stated that all models would have to meet a minimum body mass index (BMI), under World Health Organisation guidelines an adult with a BMI below 18.5 is considered underweight, 18 malnourished, and 17 severely malnourished. However since initial guidelines were discussed and in response to receiving backlash from modelling agencies in France, the new law approved on December 17, 2015,  does not specify a specific BMI.

In order to gain a medical certificate a model’s health will be evaluated by a medical professional, measured using BMI as a guide, the health professional will be permitted to take into account other factors such as a models; weight, age and body shape in order to ultimately determine their health and well-being, The Fashion Law reports.

Under the new law agencies are also required to label any work which has been digitally altered as “touched up”. With emphasis on images that have altered a models body shape to make them appear “narrower or wider.”

If any agencies fail to uphold this new law by employing models who do not carry a medical certificate or by failing to label their digitally altered work, they could be fined €75,000 (approximately £54,000) and face up to six months in jail.

 

*Look out for a new post coming soon, my personal opinion on this law.  

Building your body your way: Rachael Harper

Building your body your way, is a series of posts exploring weight loss success stories, looking at a range of people and what worked for them. The third instalment in the series is an article looking at the success of Rachael Harper, since this article was written Rachael has had a beautiful baby girl, a follow up to this original piece will be published in the new year.

 

Before and After © Rachael Harper used with permission

Before and After
© Rachael Harper used with permission

At her heaviest Rachael Harper weighed 25 stone 14lbs. After years of being unhappy and spending six years “lost in the system” trying to get weight loss surgery, she finally got the go ahead and 17 months later, 11 stone and eight dress sizes down Rachael was finally able to start living the life she always dreamed of.

Cornish born 25-year-old Rachael has struggled with her size for most of her life and states vanity was the main reason she wanted to lose weight: “I wanted to look in a mirror and think -yes you look nice. People think that is a rubbish reason but it is the truth.”

Rachael before surgery. © Rachael Harper used with permission.

Rachael before surgery.
© Rachael Harper used with permission.

At nearly 26 stone and a UK size 28-30 Rachael suffered none of the usual health complications that come with being obese but knew it wouldn’t stay that way forever. However, rather than her health being her biggest difficulty it was in fact people: “I lost count of the amount of times people made me cry,” Rachael said, “I always wanted to maintain a social life but was constantly worried about what people would say.”

 

 

Now she has slimmed her way down to a UK size 14 she feels more comfortable and confident: “People don’t tend to notice me, I blend in,” she added.

Rachael opted for a gastric bypass in order to lose weight after years of battling food demons. A gastric bypass is a process that works by making your stomach smaller and your digestive system shorter. The operation is typically done under general anaesthetic and usually takes between one and three hours.

To anyone with the pre conceived idea that weight loss surgery is the “easy way out” – let’s make it clear that it isn’t. It is a hard often life long process challenging you both physically and mentally. For Rachael the process took six years. It involved countless appointments with; a dietician, a fitness expert, a psychiatrist, surgeons as well as other health professionals.

An idea of meal size after Surgery. © Rachael Harper used with permission.

An idea of meal size after Surgery.
© Rachael Harper used with permission.

The process, she says, is made deliberately challenging to assess a person’s determination to go through with the surgery and change behaviour afterwards. In addition to this she also has to regularly attend support groups and had to lose two stone pre surgery.

There were of course, added risks surrounding the surgery because of Rachael’s size especially when receiving anaesthetic. “There were also risks that the joins of my stomach would leak/not heal,” she added in relation to additional possible complications.

Surgery is a drastic step but for someone who has struggled and battled on a daily basis it may be the best step to take. It is a lifestyle change, it isn’t a quick fix and no one will come along and wave a magic wand it will take determination and emotional stamina to be successful on this journey. Rachael said: “I’ve spent six years fighting for this and I’ve had to change my whole lifestyle. It’s not something that can be reversed and I will need to stick to this lifestyle forever. I appreciate it’s a drastic step but without it I can’t imagine where I’d be and what health complications I’d have.”

“My life has improved dramatically…I’ve never been happier.”

So after 17 months Rachael finally reached her goal but it wasn’t easy. Her advice to anyone on a journey: “You will have good weeks and bad weeks. Never give up – it only gets harder. Set little realistic goals and NEVER think of the total amount you have to lose.”

© Rachael Harper used with permission.

© Rachael Harper used with permission.

All the hard word, determination and struggle has paid off: “My life has improved dramatically. I’ve lost 11 stone in total and I’ve never been happier. I can now enjoy everything and be the person I always wanted to be.” Rachael also said it’s not just her reaping the benefits:

“I am a lot more positive now. I have more energy and I am a better person to be around. My confidence is at an all-time high. I believe I can do anything I set my mind to now and I’m not scared to try.”

 

 

For further information or if you are considering weight loss surgery contact you GP.

Building your body your way: Lydia Dismore

Building your body your way, is a series of posts exploring weight loss success stories, looking at a range of people and what worked for them. The second instalment in the series is an article looking at the success of Lydia Dismore.

© Lydia Dismore

© Lydia Dismore

After seeing professional images of herself receiving an award, Lydia Dismore was shocked, feeling fat, frumpy and fed up Lydia vowed to make a change. Lydia said: “the professional photograph made me feel physically sick, I knew I needed to do something right away”, and that is just what she did. She reduced her dress size from a UK size 16 to a UK size 10 by following a high protein clean eating diet and a full exercise regime.

“Your body is a temple that you’re responsible for building,” the wise words from Cornish at heart Lydia, a 23-year-old Bristol UWE graduate with a penchant for moreish food and the gym.

She is living proof that you can be healthy on a budget and you don’t have to remove all your treats in order to make a change. What’s the secret? There isn’t one. Dedication, hard work and determination make this transformation possible.

© Lydia Dismore

© Lydia Dismore

It took a lot of hard work and dedication including gym trips from as early as 5am so she’d have time to train before lectures. Lydia realised that there is so much disagreement around weight loss and training and everyone likes to think that their way is best, but in reality we have to find what works for us as individuals.

She said:  “Everyone who embarks on a journey of self-improvement will have a different journey, whether that be a different diet, different exercise regimes, measurements etc. and yet everyone expects the same results, it doesn’t work like that. Everyone is unique so what works for one may not work for the other”.

Lydia had tried countless ‘quick fixes’ before finding what suited her. She also was not under any illusion that change would happen overnight. So while juggling a university education as well as a job or two the gym regime started.

Having always been a fan of the gym she wasn’t a stranger to the rowing machine or the treadmill, but was a novice when it came to lifting weights!  Lydia admits that when she first started going she struggled.

© Lydia Dismore

© Lydia Dismore

Being a complete beginner with weights teamed with insecurities meant she was terrified, what was the breakthrough? Lydia said it was the realisation: “that I could turn my music up full blast and do my own thing.” These days she is confident and the only thing about the gym that she finds mildly irritating is the men: “men always offer to help, which can be a little annoying but it is nice to see their surprise when I lift heavier weights than them” Lydia stated whilst laughing hysterically.

© Lydia Dismore

© Lydia Dismore

Not one to miss out on treats though Lydia started to tweak everyday baking recipes to recipes she could eat. By her own admittance: “I would have lost more weight, but I love my treats,” if anything this proves that hard work teamed with determination and a healthy lifestyle mean you can have your cake and eat it too, in moderation of course, eating an entire cake will certainly wipe out your efforts at the gym!

Have things changed for the better? Apart from the obvious aesthetic reasons to lose weight, other factors such as health and confidence often play a part. Lydia says she now no longer looks at pictures and feels physically sick at the site of her double chins but instead smiles at the hard work and determination it took to get her to where she is today.

She said: “I feel so much better within myself, as well as looking better on the outside. I have more confidence and self-belief and I know now that if I put my mind to something I can and I will achieve it,” although a strict regime does have its downfalls as Lydia states: “I’m more conscious of what I eat now and if I don’t train I feel fat and hideous until I’ve been back to the gym,” it is after all about finding the right balance.

What advice would she give to anyone looking to lose a few pounds, tone up or generally improve their health?

Lydia said: “you really do have to find what works for you, I for example enjoy food far too much, so any plan that would limit my food intake was a no go! Instead I opted for a heavy exercise plan which would allow for the treats and naughty foods. It is also important to remember why you started and to keep going even when you don’t think you can.”

© Lydia Dismore

© Lydia Dismore

Building your body your way.

Building your body you way, is a series of posts exploring weight loss success stories, looking at a range of people and what worked for them. The first instalment in the series is an article looking at what tools are out there to help, some professional suggestions and the facts around obesity and weight loss.

Obesity levels are expanding at an alarming rate. England has the second highest levels of obesity in Europe, after Hungary. Roughly 60% of adults are overweight and 1 in 4 are obese, according to a report issued in 2014 by OECD – Better policies for better lives.

Over the past decade there has been many a study conducted into obesity and the health complications that come with it, but what effort has been put in to reduce the populations over all weight issues?

Eating unhealthily for long periods of time has been proven to make us lethargic, as well as having negative impacts on our waistline, skin condition and even how our hair looks. But is Britain doing enough for the countless people who are overweight and struggling?

Rather than helping the overweight the national press are often guilty of making a mockery of them. Countless headlines graced our newsagents in 2014 ans 2015, just like this one from The Daily Mail: “Why are today’s young women so unashamed about being fat?”

Screenshot of Daily Mail Article

Screenshot of Daily Mail Article

Headlines intent on fat shaming teamed with the negative press surrounding the overweight and the NHS do nothing to encourage someone to start their personal journey of discovery and weight loss, but luckily free support and help is still out there.

The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence have issued many guidelines in the aim to shake up Britain’s health.  Countless websites, institutions and schemes are focussing on re educating people about food, food consumption and cooking. They are offering tools for free to help people rehabilitate themselves so that any weight lost stays off.

The NHS website offer a free 12 week weight loss starter programme, the aim they say is to help people: “develop healthier eating habits, be more active, and get on track to start losing weight.”

Image from the NHS website.

Image from the NHS website.

The added benefit is that it is available for immediate download straight from their website. It incorporates the suggested calorie intake for men and women as well as an array of insightful information for the reader. You can calculate your BMI and work out your personal calorie allowance in relation to your height and weight. In addition they also offer online support in the way of an online forum, where people can post supportive messages to one another and share their journeys.

Calorie counting is often difficult because it doesn’t necessarily eliminate the unhealthier options, however it does give choice and the freedom to not only make your own decisions but also to change your lifestyle for the better. Food sheets and calorie counting sheets are included in the download making it as easy as possible to track what you are eating and keep on top of it.

An extension of the NHS help is offered through The Change 4 Life scheme, whilst this website isn’t just focussed on weight loss it does offer an array of tools for everyone to use, from the youngest members of the family to the eldest.

Change 4 Life from the NHS website.

Change 4 Life from the NHS website.

The focus here is about each individual or family unit making the best choice for them. This website is filled with information and ideas. It also has an option to search for local support and local activities to increase your exercise level.

Look out for more articles coming soon detailing other helpful tools for weight loss.

Some useful links for you:

http://www.nhs.uk/livewell/loseweight/Pages/Loseweighthome.aspx

http://www.nhs.uk/change4life/Pages/change-for-life.aspx

Katie Hopkins – A review and an open letter to you.

So Katie Hopkins new two-part documentary, My Fat Story, was aired recently on TLC.

The programme that was designed to show that fat people are just lazy and that losing weight is simple. Just stop eating so much (her words.)

“Being obese, being fat, being overweight, has become the new normal, and I disagree with that. I really believe for fat people, the solution is in your own hands. They don’t need to put so much into their faces. So take that fat bastards.”

(Source of quote: http://www.nowmagazine.co.uk/celebrity-news/556860/yikes-katie-hopkins-sparks-more-controversy-size-12-is-clearly-a-size-called-fat#GxEbhM1wWiz6Foqz.99)

Regardless of whether I agree with her or not (I don’t for the record) the first thought that comes to mind isn’t; Why is she so intent on fat shaming so many people? But it is; Why does she have no filter or regard for peoples feelings? She isn’t just stating her opinion she is being malicious and spiteful. She also does not even try to hide how happy being cruel makes her. She enjoys the controversy, she enjoys people talking about her. But in the long run who suffers?It isn’t her, clearly she is thick skinned and can take the torrent backlash of abuse she receives.

The real victim of her abuse isn’t even us ‘fat’ people. It is her children. Her children who will always been known as Katie Hopkins children, their weight will always be on their minds, she has unknowingly given them a weight complex. In a few years if she is still gracing everyone with her hideous words then what about her poor children then? What about her girls who are reaching teenage hood and are conscious of their bodies anyway, now they will have the added pressure of being the children of Katie Hopkins – they certainly can’t get fat can they? Or retain their childhood ‘puppy fat’ for too long for fear of being ridiculed by the media and anyone else who Hopkins has offended and don’t get me started on the ridicule they will no doubt receive from the woman herself.

Katie I applaud you on piling the pounds on and then losing them again, you showed that weight loss is possible. But hang on, we knew that! Everyone knows you CAN lose weight.

What you didn’t show is the personal struggle and turmoil people go through. The often years of self hate, self mutilation and self loathing.

You didn’t show what being fat is like. You showed what being fat is like for a person who is used to being small. You didn’t show what being fat was like for a person with food demons. People who have struggled with their weight, some of us for our entire lives.

Motivation: your motivation was the TV crew recording, the whole world watching waiting for you to fuck up (sorrynotsorry.)

I like so many other people wanted you, hell WILLED you to fail.

So naturally of course you didn’t. But that is an unrealistic level of motivation for the general public to uphold.

We don’t have someone filming us when we wake up, when we make breakfast. What we do have is our food demons and they stay with us 24 hours a day. For example see this scenario.

You’ve been struggling to sleep for days, you’re stressed to the max about everything, work is difficult at the moment, the children are hard work and the marriage is strained.

Your weight loss plan: Wake up so tired want to kick the TV crew however, there is a TV crew so best get in the kitchen and make a healthy breakfast. Yes grapefruit, porridge or whatever – just what I craved (note the sarcasm.)

A general plus size persons plan: Wake up so tired. Children are screaming and you need something. You go to the kitchen with the intent of making something healthy however upon opening the fridge you see the bacon smiling at you ever so sweetly. You cave, you’re so tired, you’re run down and your old friend the food demon is there telling you to ‘treat yourself, you deserve it.’ So you do. Then afterwards the onset of the guilt starts. You were doing so well on your diet but now you’ve gone and blown it. More often than not the next stop is more food, more guilt and more self hate. Until you eventually realise (one biscuit later or one day later or a month later) that the only person preventing you from losing weight is you.

Oh and obviously the day where the food demon wins crops up through out the year and through out your weight loss journey.

So Katie could you handle that? Would you show the general public that?

You Katie are a UK Size 8. How could you ever understand the thoughts that cross peoples mind, especially ones who have been overweight for a long time. Have you experienced the taunts they have? Have you experienced the self hate whilst looking in the mirror? The hysterical tears in a changing room when you can’t find anything that fits and looks nice. The internal struggle over what you know you should have and what you actually want. Have you experienced comfort eating everything in sight because you are so low and that food  if only for a moment brings you joy – yet on the flip side you are greeted with on set of guilt. Have you experienced this vicious circle?

You humiliate and publicly fat shame people too often and now you’ve had to take it one stop further and record a bloody programme doing it all over again. Why?

Do you think your words encourage sometime to step up and lose some weight or do they send people into a more reclusive state?

What you could have done if you were so intent on showing people how ‘easy’ it is to lose weight. Is to include overweight people in your show. Show their journeys. Show their struggles and help them. Had you succeeded you would have received a much different reaction from people I’m sure.

You haven’t shown it is easy to lose weight.

You have failed on proving that all ‘fat’ people are just lazy “fat bastards”.

You have succeeded  in showing us that you will go the extremes just to humiliate, ostracise and taunt people.

You have succeeded in insulting even more of the population by saying this:

“It’s a simple fact that if you shove too many doughnuts in you, you will never make a size 8 or 10, and size 12 is clearly a size called Fat.”

(Source of quote: http://www.nowmagazine.co.uk/celebrity-news/556860/yikes-katie-hopkins-sparks-more-controversy-size-12-is-clearly-a-size-called-fat#GxEbhM1wWiz6Foqz.99)

You have succeeded in securing the most hated title.

And now I find myself 1000+ words in on a rant that will only put your name out there more.

So on a final note.

I may be fat but at least I can change that, you Hopkins will always be a bitch and if I were ever unfortunate enough to encounter you I would break my diet wonderfully shovelling everything fattening in my greedy chops before ‘accidentally’ knocking you to the floor with my rather large and rather fat bottom.

Linda Kelsey (Daily Mail) vs Me and the unashamed ‘fatties’

Being fat doesn’t make you a horrible person, being horrible makes you a horrible person.

The same way a good person isn’t a good person because of the way they look. They are a good person because of what’s inside.

So how can you judge a fat person just because they are fat? Deciding you don’t like someone because they are fat is unacceptable and malicious, it’s not being a ‘fattist’ it’s being cruel.

I refer you now to in my opinion one of the worst newspapers in Britain and I don’t say that lightly as a trainee journalist.

The Daily Mail – and the story I referred to a few days ago entitled: Why are today’s young women so unashamed about being fat? Horrified by the rolls of flesh she’s witnessed on show this summer, LINDA KELSEY takes no prisoners
(link at bottom of post)

“Standing in the queue for airport security at Luton last week, en route to Malaga and my fortnight in the sun, I became transfixed by the three young women in front of me.

All in their early 20s, they were laughing and chatting, clearly looking forward to their hols on the Costa del Sol, excitedly planning their days on the beach and nights on the town.

They sounded – and looked – happy and carefree. But what mesmerised me most about this jolly trio was not their conversation, but their appearance: they were size 18 apiece, at least.

They were not chubby, but fat. They had bulging bellies and billowing pillows of back and shoulder stuffing, punctured by flabby arms and lardy legs that no amount of fake-tan could disguise.

And what struck me even more forcefully about these lumpen individuals (there were dozens more, equally large, in the queue behind me) was how obviously unconcerned they were about it.”

How dare these girls get excited for their holiday? They have no right to be excited whilst being so fat. Is this the message Linda is trying to give out? That girls if you are fat you are to be miserable, sink into depression and starve yourself thin, then it will be ok again.

“Another girl wore white stretch leggings with a pattern of cellulite dimples showing through, accessorised with a super-sized sausage of overhanging belly.”

Is it just overweight people that get cellulite? If so someone best inform the likes of Kate Moss, Rihanna and Mischa Barton that they are tipping into the obese stage.

So what, this girl had a little skin on show, did she have to look? Did she have to stare so intently, then release a national story on it? No she didn’t, she did that because she could and because she is an arse.

I was always taught if you have nothing nice to say then don’t say anything at all. This woman clearly was not taught the same courtesy.

People should be able to wear whatever they wish. The same stigma is not placed on men, who as soon as the slightest ray of sunshine is out get their tops off and this is accepted as a “man thing.”

“To top it all, these three were – I kid you not – sharing a bag of crisps.”

NEWSFLASH FAT PEOPLE EAT TOO and least they were sharing a bag 😉 

These girls were waiting in line to start their holidays, why can’t they eat? Are fat people now expected to sit inside eating, hiding away from people that may judge or make comments. What gives her the right to be so critical with people, to comment on what they consume, it is comments like these that often drive people to the ice cream and pizza.

She uses the term: “fatties” throughout her article,  I am not sure when this was deemed acceptable, or when The Daily Mail deemed it acceptable to post things like this. With the amount of emphasis placed on anti-bullying schemes year round, here you are BULLYING for the entire world to see. Fatties is not an acceptable term. It is rude, offensive and bloody well mean.

What gives this woman the right to be so rude and malicious? This entire article is written from her “unapologetically fattist” viewpoint, it is unfair and unjust and I am confounded how this person even has friends let alone a job where they actually pay her to write.

What I wonder is, would she offer this same no feelings spared approach to anorexia sufferers or alcoholics?

“I don’t deny that anorexia, bulimia and other eating disorders are a pernicious problem, and I’ve witnessed at close hand the devastating effects of anorexia as young daughters of friends and acquaintances have succumbed to it.

But in the cases I’ve come across, the psychological issues these girls were suffering from had far more to do with their driven personalities, their determination to be A*  students at any cost, as well as troubles with over-demanding parents, than simply emulating glossy magazine images of super-skinny models and stick-thin celebrities on the red carpet.

Skinny celebrity icons are an issue, but I don’t believe they’re the issue on which society should focus in our muddle over body image.

Far more attention and, dare I say it, opprobrium needs to be directed at young fatties who eat unhealthy diets and sit around watching TV and texting rather than going to the gym or even for a walk.”

I don’t begin to understand the medical side of anorexia but what I will say is that each person who suffers has a different story, a different reason behind their illness so you simply cannot generalise. The same way every fat person has a story.

Now I am not arguing with the fact that obesity is on the rise, and the younger generation seem to be getting larger. This is something that needs tackling, but all her article (I begrudge calling it that) does is increase the negativity and stigma surrounding obesity. With documents like this so freely available they are pushing people away. People who know they are getting a little chubby and want to do something about it may not now, through fear of getting the same reaction from anyone they approach. Did she consider this whilst typing out her malicious words?

We need to offer help and encouragement in order to give people the education they need to help themselves.  We need to help families educate themselves and their children so we minimise the amount of obese children.

It isn’t healthy we know this. But simply calling people fatties and discussing how disgusting it is isn’t helping.

She ends her article with:  “One way to start might be by calling a fat girl a fat girl. No apology required.”

Linda I follow in your foot steps, perhaps honesty is the best policy, so Linda you are a bitch. No apology required.

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2686676/Why-todays-young-women-unashamed-fat-Horrified-rolls-flesh-shes-witnessed-summer-LINDA-KELSEY-takes-no-prisoners.html