It’s time to face up to some hard truths. I haven’t posted in a long time, has it really been 4 months? I should have listened to my mum, time really does go quicker as you get older!
I’ve been stalling posting too afraid to enter the blogosphere again, the internet can be a fickle place, the blogging world especially. But then I remembered why I started this blog and my corresponding page, it was to help not only me but others. Research has shown that losing weight together with a support system increases your chances of success, and knowing you aren’t the only one struggling can really help a person when they feel like a failure and believe me when it comes to weight loss I’ve felt like a failure, a lot!
So why has it taken me so long to come out of hiding?
I was ashamed, I had created a blog and page centred on weight loss yet I was sitting at home demolishing sharing bags of crisps and chocolate, having officially fallen off the wagon. I was a fraud. I was stuck in a viscous circle of binge eating and starving, neither of which I wanted to promote as a healthy lifestyle.
I created this blog to share the truths of weight loss and that includes falling off the wagon because let’s face it losing weight is hard!! But I couldn’t face it. I was watching the scales closely approaching my start weight from June 2014 and falling deeper into my pity party.
The last year has been a roller-coaster of ups and downs, and now we come to June when I should be out celebrating having finished my final year at university, but in reality I’m at home still struggling away with my dissertation and piecing together my final portfolio, crawling inch by inch to the finish line. This past year has seen me battle with my own mental health once again, struggle to balance my home, work and university life as well as dealing with things that no one saw coming, and even now we don’t understand.
As friends and acquaintances asked how my weight loss was going I had my answer ready, “I’m taking it easy at the moment, with everything going on, but I’m joining Slimming World soon.” Hell even the doctor told me I should stop being so hard on myself and they were impressed I was managing so well.
But in reality I wasn’t. Weight loss is hard work, and anyone who says any different is an idiot (sorry, not sorry) it really isn’t as simple as eat less, move more. Yes those factors help obviously but it requires a lot of hard work, will power, determination and strength. I didn’t get to this size overnight so losing weight won’t happen over night either.
So many ‘diets’ focus on cutting out, or minimising your intake of certain food groups, some even offer meal replacements or ask you to skip meals entirely, how long is one person expected to sustain this? I certainly couldn’t do this. Would the person telling you “it’s simple eat less, move more” eliminate their favourite foods or food groups entirely and sustain it 24/7, 365 days a year? Probably not.
It is easy for people to dismiss overweight people as lazy over-eaters who prefer McDonalds to the gym, people goad overweight people, make fun of and judge but we are all people. We all have different things going on, we all have our own lives, we all have our own struggles that influence our eating habits. What impact does someone’s weight really have on your life, unless they are sitting on your face it really isn’t any of your concern surely?
Believe it or not overweight people can be healthy, the two can go hand in hand, yes weight may have a factor on their life later on down the line, but surely that is their business? At my biggest weight, apart from being a bit physically unfit I was healthy, I suffered no health issues related to being overweight. I couldn’t run round a football pitch that’s for sure but then again neither could a few of my size 8-10 friends. So I put my weight loss aside for a while, a little too long I will admit, but I had to take care of me first.
So many of us struggle with our weight, not just those of us who have a lot to lose, but those who are underweight and struggling, or with an extra muffin top they can’t shift, whether it is 7lbs or 100lbs you have to lose we all struggle.
So rewind to 7 weeks ago when I drew the line, I’m 27 this year and should be dreaming of adventures, a bright future surrounded by friends, family and children one day. I have been so incredibly lucky that the only health complications I’ve had is an annual Winter chest infection and a death defying snore, but I’d be fooling myself to think I would remain this
overweight morbidly obese (<— time to face hard facts!) and healthy.
I cannot control everything in my life but what I can control is my weight and what I eat and how this makes me feel as a person. My weight has never defined me and it never will and I’ve been lucky that I’ve always felt pretty confident, most of the time, but I want to live the best life possible, doing amazing things and living life to the full, I don’t want to be the one on the side happily waving and cheering you on I want to experience it first hand, grabbing each opportunity face on without first thinking of all the problems my weight might cause.
But I needed support. I know all the rules, of weight loss I know what works and doesn’t work, I’ve been on a diet on and off since I was a child literally, but I needed the discipline of a group. For so long I’d been telling people I was joining Slimming World soon so why not now?
On the 2nd of May I walked into my first slimming world group and I was a nervous wreck. When the moment came to finally get weighed I tipped the scales at 21 stone 11lb, I was gutted, I was only half a stone away from the weight that began this blogging journey two years ago! All the weight I had lost I had regained, I hadn’t been living in denial but this was tough to swallow. I threw myself into my first week, reading the booklet, the website, stalking Instagram pages, and concocting recipes. I had been a member of Slimming World before so knew if you stuck to plan it would work, so I kept determined, counting down the days for my first weigh in.
As Monday morning approached I was once again a nervous wreck, but this time I tipped the scales at 21 stone 3lb, I had lost a massive 8.5lb and got my first award all in my first week!!
I was hooked and 6 weeks later I still am.
1200 words later I’m sure I’ve bored everyone by now, so I’ll leave you all on my high note first week success!! But fear not this time I will be back soon, detailing what my first 7 weeks of Slimming World have taught me.
But for now I’ve got a syn free, speed packed, Slimming World meal to whip up!
Me with my first award! © Sarah Woodside